Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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