so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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