I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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