thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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