they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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