I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
