Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
