Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no, he came in my armpit
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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