I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
