some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
