Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
