Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
