dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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