I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
