is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
