I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
