Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
