if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Say something about gay babies.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
