i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
