i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize