Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
