you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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