I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
