I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
