i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
