You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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