they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
