Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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