It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
