I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
