You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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