Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
