somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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