For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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