Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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