I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
