so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize