just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
