dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green