Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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  (540): ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret. http://tfl.nu/thv3
  Replies (18) Good night (2602) Bad night (861)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...

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  (469): HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers... http://tfl.nu/21iq
  Replies (12) Good night (729) Bad night (2995)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.

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  (503): At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit. http://tfl.nu/01u9
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (3625)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

  (646): View more from New York

  Lmao what?

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's a yes or no question.

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  (917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0
  Replies (20) Good night (5203) Bad night (1395)
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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  (310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn
  Replies (24) Good night (3363) Bad night (792)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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  (917): had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary. http://tfl.nu/06cp
  Replies (6) Good night (3842) Bad night (862)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He called his prostate his "boner button".

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  (440): He called his prostate his "boner button". http://tfl.nu/n5dr
  Replies (17) Good night (1622) Bad night (3334)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2807) Bad night (766)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

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  (301): Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip. http://tfl.nu/7yby
  Replies (64) Good night (3083) Bad night (5291)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.

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  (704): It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals. http://tfl.nu/tnox
  Replies (4) Good night (2075) Bad night (678)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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  (541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b
  Replies (6) Good night (1632) Bad night (721)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.

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  (979): It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people. http://tfl.nu/1jp1
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (570)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm

  (561): View more from Florida

  Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots

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  (561): In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm (561): Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots http://tfl.nu/w2ja
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (190)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon

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  (704): I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon http://tfl.nu/9347
  Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (420)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.

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  (902): I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/7sqj
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (195)

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