Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

(1-630): View more from Illinois

It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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(630): Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me (1-630): It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous http://tfl.nu/qwdq

Replies (9) Good night (784) Bad night (2495)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.

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(617): living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST. http://tfl.nu/nhyx

Replies (20) Good night (3851) Bad night (595)
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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(210): So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon http://tfl.nu/iac1

Replies (18) Good night (5045) Bad night (982)
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(315): View more from New York

I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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(315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp

Replies (23) Good night (4359) Bad night (1243)
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(231): View more from Michigan

you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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(231): you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob. http://tfl.nu/xbl2

Replies (25) Good night (9780) Bad night (1181)
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(410): View more from Maryland

260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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(410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv

Replies (37) Good night (3863) Bad night (1554)
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(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(253): You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow. http://tfl.nu/kcye

Replies (8) Good night (3930) Bad night (963)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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(803): For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early. http://tfl.nu/j6ta

Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (1912)
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(518): View more from New York

...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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(518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz

Replies (7) Good night (2427) Bad night (1154)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

(507): View more from Minnesota

Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

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(651): This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease. (507): Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits. http://tfl.nu/blof

Replies (18) Good night (2887) Bad night (1090)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".

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(+44): Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis". http://tfl.nu/tct7

Replies (7) Good night (1707) Bad night (580)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'

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(610): I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili' http://tfl.nu/81vy

Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (1522)
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(914): View more from New York

He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

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(914): He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message? http://tfl.nu/czyz

Replies (7) Good night (2081) Bad night (582)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

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(757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o

Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (778)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

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(330): Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time. http://tfl.nu/3pj1

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (192)

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