Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me