Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

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  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (6024) Bad night (736)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.

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  (914): I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned. http://tfl.nu/hdoa
  Replies (10) Good night (1365) Bad night (4899)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.

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  (443): This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night. http://tfl.nu/mfsu
  Replies (17) Good night (5055) Bad night (1013)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.

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  (807): at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket. http://tfl.nu/odip
  Replies (8) Good night (5176) Bad night (1591)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart

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  (502): We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart http://tfl.nu/qvlm
  Replies (6) Good night (2053) Bad night (806)
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  (530): View more from California

  My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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  (530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc
  Replies (13) Good night (3964) Bad night (1310)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.

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  (630): As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games. http://tfl.nu/gy2l
  Replies (7) Good night (1926) Bad night (978)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  C smoking isn't all bad

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  (678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (931)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance

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  (604): You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance http://tfl.nu/i8te
  Replies (2) Good night (1473) Bad night (536)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing

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  (818): I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hijc
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (442)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (492)
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  (707): View more from California

  The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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  (707): The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny". http://tfl.nu/ox7j
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (614)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..

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  (315): I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together.. http://tfl.nu/z4t0
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (269)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.

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  (248): Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us. http://tfl.nu/bddr
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (379)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.

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  (503): So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in. http://tfl.nu/z9yu
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (168)

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