Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?