her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight