You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
They took my balls.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off