y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
