walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
