When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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