I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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