Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
