His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize