"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
