Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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