JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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