Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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