"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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