I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
