i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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