Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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