They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
