when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
