Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
