Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
