What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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