The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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