I think im going to throw up on grandma
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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