C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
