your thong is hanging out like whoa
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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