god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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