I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
