Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
