Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
