I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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